Around this time last year, I was still adjusting to life post-craniotomy. The couple weeks right after the surgery, I was still somewhat sedated
from my pain meds and spent my time just trying to be as pain free as
possible. When I finally got off the pain meds and was more lucid, i didn't think things would have been as different as they were.
I remember Mom and Dad took me out to the local mall to get some exercise and the experience was surreal to say the least. Suffice to say, I was wide-eyed staring at this post-craniotomy world. I
kept thinking to myself, I just had my head cracked open and a part of
my brain removed, and now I'm here in a mall watching people shop. I could not process anything I saw and could not grasp the reality in front of me. Looking at the people walking by and the shops they went into, I didn't know what any of it meant. Even today, I feel like Mal in Inception or Thomas Anderson in The Matrix. Like
something doesn't feel right and it's gnawing at me, a little pebble in
the shoe, and I can't ignore it.
I KNOW exactly how you feel. I remember a trip to Target that my Mom took me on...I, too, was recovering a year ago this month. I remember looking at all the people thinking, "Do you all have ANY idea what's going on?" -
ReplyDeleteThe same thought crossed my mind as well. It's a very traumatic experience. I think about our troops and the experiences some of them have had and no wonder some of them come home with PTSD. Though their experiences are different from ours, some experiences just aren't meant for people to go through.
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